Cherished Belonging: The Healing Power of Love in Divided Times by Gregory Boyle

Summary: Exploration of the role of love, community and belonging.

I have known of Greg Boyle for a while, but I have not previously read his books. I thought I had a good idea of his perspective and approach and I just didn’t think I needed to read him. But Cherished Belonging was the book chosen for the book club that I love and so I picked the book up and read it. I think I had a pretty good understanding of Boyle and that my impressions were largely correct. But I was challenged by the book.

Boyle starts early in the book telling the reader that there are two principles that frame his ministry and approach. “1) Everyone is unshakably good (no exceptions) and 2) We belong to each other (no exceptions).” (p2) While there is a bit of fluidity to how he uses “good” in the first part, mostly what he means is inherent worth and value, not moral goodness. I think if you understand him to mean, everyone is made in the image of God and therefore has value, that will be the rough meaning in most situations throughout the book. The stories he shares make it clear that he does not mean that everyone makes good choices or that they always will do the right thing at important points.

With that caveat about how he seems to mean good, I do think that the book is helpful especially in a time when basic Christian values are being questioned. Boyle is remaindering the reader that not only are we called to love, but we are call to love all, even those who are not particularly lovable. He reminds us that those who are most hard to love, generally have been the victims of abuse and harm. Those who have abused and harmed, will often harm others. And as he repeatedly illustrates in his stories, our systems of “justice” often perpetuate more harm instead of healing to those who are at the bottom rungs of our society.

“What if we didn’t punish the wounded but, rather, sought to heal them? In American society, we are faced with broken people, and we have chosen to build prisons to accommodate them. What if we did the reverse? We want to commit to creating a culture and community of cherished belonging. I’m not suggesting that Homeboy is the answer, but we might have stumbled upon the question. As Daniel Berrigan says, “Know where to stand and stand there.” Homeboy just wants to keep standing there.” (p5)

Boyle believes (rightly I think) that the way that we best heal those who have been harmed through traumatic abuse, neglect, and other social harms by radical belonging and love. That does not mean that we ignore bad behavior, but that we show that our love is rooted in their value as a creation of God, not in their good behavior, and that we seek to find places that people can be in deep congratulated.

Generally, I agree with most of the book, but stylistically, Boyle is not my kind of writer. I know many people in the group I was in were deeply moved by his stories and method. But I felt a lot of his storytelling was too superficial and quick. He regularly shared three brief stories per page. He frequently drew meaning from stories that I think were strained.

But again, I was convicted regularly throughout the book. I do not love as much as I should. I do judge harshly at times I should not.

When the group first started reading the book was the start of President Trump’s time in office. I am a Wheaton College alumni and Wheaton congratulated Russ Vought for his role as OMB Director. That led to significant controversy because many Wheaton alum are international aid workers or in other areas of social ministry. Vought was the primary architect of Project 2025, much of which is designed to remove international aid, social safety-net systems, public education and protections for women, minorities and the disabled. Another very large group of Wheaton alum are politically conservative and supporters of Trump and Vought’s policies. As that controversy played out, I was convicted that I needed to be regularly praying for Vought. I didn’t know him when I was at Wheaton, but we overlapped I believe. He was several years younger than I am. We just do not have the same theological convictions. Vought is a vocal Christian nationalist who does not believe that the constitution is valid any longer and who does not believe in the separation of church and state. He believes that Christians should have sole authority of control government and he has indicated that he does not think women should have the right to vote. He has celebrates looking forward to a time when federal workers would be too traumatized to come to work.

But I was convicted that I need to pray for him daily. I am not praying for him to succeed in his plans, I find his plans reprehensible and far from Christianity as I understand it. I am praying that he will accept God’s love for him and find a community that loves him.

But as much as I was convicted by the book, I think part of the problem of the book is that is often is framed as loving others as a type of ministry and when connected with race and class this can become a type of paternalism. I don’t think that Boyle is paternalistic, but I do think that the book doesn’t spend enough time helping the reader to take the principles that are in use by Boyle in his context and move that to other contexts.

It is clear from the stories that Boyle isn’t perfect, he does get frustrated with people he works with, he has limits, but I do think there can be a perception of super spiritualness in the book. He doesn’t talk about his habits of rest or renewal or what he does to remind himself of his calling. That is a different book, but I do think it is part of what it takes to move toward the type of “cherished belonging” that he is calling the reader to. (The group I was discussing this with talked about this and several were getting together to write him about those practices to better understand his own spiritual work.)

I think this can be a valuable book to understand how belonging and love practically do work to bring about healing. I do think that this is helpful is teaching that we are not just called to love those who are easy to love, but also to love those who are hard to love. Boyle writes from his experience and setting. That experience is not a common experience and that setting is one that can by mythologized like other “missionary” books. Most people who read this are going to try to put it into practice is a standard suburban setting and they will likely need help in translation.

One minor note, Boyle uses a lot of Spanish that he leaves untranslated. Most of the time you get the basic meaning from context. But one advantage to reading on a kindle is that you can translate it in the kindle as long as you have an internet connection. I used that feature a lot in this book.

Cherished Belonging: The Healing Power of Love in Divided Times by Gregory Boyle Purchase Links: Hardcover, Kindle Edition, Audible.com Audiobook